Halloween, and the profound impact it has made on my life

When people ask me what my favorite holiday is, I have always responded with Halloween! It is safe to say that 70% of the time I get looks of confusion mixed with a mild sense of concern. The first thing I want to say is that Halloween has been gaining steam in the "acceptable" circle thanks to many horror franchises going mainstream and bringing a broader audience to the dark side. But I have been defending Halloween since grade school trying to help people understand why I loved this holiday so much, admittedly I was not and arguably am still not, the most clairvoyant when it came to expressing myself.

So here is my humble attempt to explain myself and to share my thoughts  about the pagan holiday that is nothing more than a day to dress up and collect sweets to 90% of the population. Thanks to my mother and father Halloween has always been etched into my memory as the true start to fall, which is my favorite season for reasons other than Halloween, and a time to experience that one emotion that most people tend to avoid or brush off. The emotion I am talking about is fear. Now most people hear the word fear and readily conger up negative feelings of isolation/remorse/phobias etc but to me that is an essential part of being human.

Images like this use to scare the hell outta me

I am going to try to do my best to not sound preachy but it is true, fear is just as strong of an emotion as love or joy. Think about it for one moment, you can remember everyone in your life who you have love or loved. You can also probably remember all the times you experienced true joy, and I do not mean the type of joy you get from eating something that is terrible for you like taco bell at 1:00 am, the joy I am referring to is that special time when you were a child and went on a vacation with your family or shared a late night snack with your father when he came home from the midnight shift and watched movies all night. Keeping these emotions in mind you can probably recall every moment in your life you have experienced true fear that gripped you so powerfully it stopped you in your tracks or made you believe for one second the impossible is possible. Some people chase fear in the form of extreme sports or maybe by living a dangerous life style, but these people are usually referred to as adrenaline junkies. Yet, the truth is they are overcoming a fear and in their triumph they feel euphoria a since of accomplishment, living to fight another day and conquer the world. That is what I try to recreate and chase when I watch horror films, read novels, go on haunted hayrides, create Halloween props, or play video games. It may not be as noble as flipping 360 degrees in the air on a motorcycle but its what I love and it works for me.

Alot of people question why I put tireless effort into creating a walk through haunted house out of my detached garage for my annual Halloween party. The answer is simple, I am trying to give my guests and friends that childhood feeling of remembering their fear and forgetting how shitty or stressful their day to day lives truly are. Life requires all of us to take every step so seriously and with computers/interest/pinterest everyone is scared to death of everything. You can't drink out of a bottle of water without being told you may get cancer. So, to help my guests get in the mood for a true Halloween party I decide, yes I want to try to scare them, but I also try to help them have fun. I don't want them to worry about their mortgage or student loan bills, instead I want them to fear the monsters in my garage and wonder,  "is that going to pop out at me?", or "whats that sound?" It's goofy and silly and some people are just too "grown up" but in the end everyone seems to have a great time.

On a personal note, this past year has been one of the worst years of my life. I have loss my father, Michael, who not only was a hero to me and someone I looked up to, but a very close friend who I talked to everyday and confided in. Then I lost my dog, wolf, of 11 years shortly after. I want to clarify that in no way is the loss of my dog comparable to the loss of my father but it was a knockout blow for me. In addition I had multiple issues with everyday life which include major home renovations, caring for my mother whose health is a concern of mine everyday, getting into a car accident, and just a generally rough depressing year. I am not looking for sympathy or condolences as I understand this is part of life and we all have our problems. I will say that the one shining moment of my year came when I got engaged to a wonderfully caring and beautiful woman, Monica, who has made everyday that much better by supporting and loving me. She helps me in ways I cannot express and I am truly grateful to have her in my life.

Monica and I from our 3rd Annual Halloween Party

With all of this going on in my life I can honestly say that when I began decorating for Halloween and watching horror movies Friday night with my fiancee, all of my problems would fade away. Even if it were only for 2 hours or so, I could escape into my imagination and forget the terrible things that happened this year. I am not saying that it cured my hurt but replacing my sadness with momentary fear created a coping mechanism that worked for me. I am not suggesting this as a remedy to your problems and stress, but rather I am explaining what I did to help better my situation.

So if you ask me or anyone what is your favorite holiday and they say Halloween, realize there may be a deeper reason other than, I like candy and monsters. And please do yourself a favor this Thursday, watch a horror movies or dress up and go to a party or better yet go to a haunted hayride and allow yourself to be scared, because we can all agree the fictional monsters of this world are far less scary than real life.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Coming soon I will be posting pictures from my Halloween party over the past few years as well as a few DIY projects for making Halloween props.